What it is
A pulse is a touch you send through your phone. You hold your thumb on the glowing center of Phorb's home screen, and your partner feels a heartbeat-like vibration on their phone for as long as you hold. It's the fastest way to tell your partner you're thinking of them, and it needs no words at all.
How it works in Phorb
- Open the Today tab. Until you've tried it, a hint in the center says "Hold to ping" followed by your partner's name.
- Press and hold the center of the screen. Your phone hums under your thumb and shows Sending.
- Move your thumb around while you hold. Your partner sees a glow follow your thumb on their screen, in the color of your current emotion.
- Let go to stop. The pulse ends on both phones.
Your partner feels the vibration when Phorb is open on their phone. If the app is closed or in the background, they can get a notification that you're sending a pulse instead. They can turn that alert on or off in Settings, Notifications, Pulse.
A pulse lands best when you're both in the app. If your partner shared an emotion a minute ago, they may still have Phorb open.
Why it helps
A pulse is about the smallest bid for connection there is. The Gottman Institute defines a bid as "any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any other positive connection" (Turn Toward Instead of Away). Bids can be as simple as a smile. A pulse is the phone version of a squeeze of the hand.
The same article describes Gottman's study of newlyweds: couples who were still married six years later had turned toward each other's bids 86% of the time, and couples who divorced averaged 33%. Turning toward a pulse is easy. Hold your thumb on the screen and send one back.
Ideas to try
- Long distance. Agree on a time you're both in the app, like the minute before one of you falls asleep, and hold a pulse together.
- In a meeting or on a train. You can't call and you don't want to type. A few seconds of pulse tells your partner you're there.
- After a disagreement. If you're not ready to talk, a pulse says "we're okay" without reopening the topic.
- Before a big moment. Your partner has an exam, an interview or a flight. Send a pulse right before it starts.
- As a private signal. Make up your own code. One short pulse for "thinking of you", a long one for "call me when you can".
